Wednesday, July 1, 2009


I have three teenage girls living in my house. They drive me insane, they make me laugh and there are times they make me want to move far, far away. Goldie is my oldest biological child, but technically the fourth in our family of five children. Goldie can keep our family in stitches. She will burst out in song and dance that can rival any one of American Idol's early rejects. She can tell the tallest tales with a perfectly straight face and act totally offended when you don't believe her. It is hilarious. Goldie has her issues. I worry that she doesn't worry about tomorrow, or next week and certainly not next year. I am worried that Goldie is in no way prepared for life outside of our home,despite my best efforts. Goldie also has seizure disorder. Most days, she is the funny, crazy kid who makes us all laugh. Some days, she's asking the question most of us ask every once in a while, "Why me?" On those days she is reminded that her lot in life could be a whole lot worse. For her to have one seizure a year was normal until earlier this year. She has had three seizures this spring. This hasn't happened in years. I am terrified sometimes that I am going to lose her. I'm sure that I'm just paranoid, and my Goldie will be just fine.

Although I don't consider her seizure disorder a disability, it does cause her some difficulty. The medication makes her move a little slower and she can't always concentrate. I don't want her to think of herself as disabled because for the most part, she's not. I try very hard to treat her the same as our other kids, but I do make excuses for her from time to time. I know I shouldn't. Don't misunderstand, I hold my children to a very high standard. I demand respect and a positive outlook. At times, though, I've found myself excusing her from finishing the kitchen, or overlooking the pile of laundry that is creeping half-way up her bedroom wall. Why? Beats me.

All I know is that she is my firstborn. My beautiful, crazy girl. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do for her. And I love her...

1 comment:

  1. Hi, i found you on Mad Manic Mamas and decided to come across and see you. It sounds like you have quite a life going on there. Looking forward to hearing your story.
    thanks for sharing
    much love martine