Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Overthink, much?

It is no secret that teens are difficult. I am guilty of complaining about mine. I get so frustrated with my own, sometimes wondering how in the hell I'm going to make it out the other side of this. I've always taken my job as Mom very seriously. My sole purpose since I became a mother has been to raise strong, independent women who are not afraid to speak their minds, and to be open to the joys of a happy, loving family of their own. I want them to be smart and self motivated. I want these things so badly for my girls, that when I see them slipping away from those things I go nuts. I take control and push them back in that direction. And realize that by pushing them so hard, maybe I'm taking away that independence and freedom of choice I've always desired for them. Are there other mom's out there who feel like they have deposited their own dreams onto their children, and then wrestle the control away from their children because it doesn't mesh with what we want for them?

There is an expectation of respect in our home. The girls are allowed to express whatever it is they need to express, but they may not do it while throwing a typical teen tantrum. Is it healthy or unhealthy that I don't allow them to do the tantrum thing? So far, they are everything I could have dreamed they would become. They are kind, loving, smart, hardworking kids who don't take crap from anyone. To everyone outside of our home they are unfailingly polite and I hear from nearly everyone who has contact with them that they are wonderful kids.

We seem to have a pretty good relationship, but I wonder sometimes, if it is superficial and only seems this way because of my strong "you will talk to me with respect or you're grounded for life" message. I can't decide why I'm questioning myself. I suppose I should go directly to my two seventeen year olds and ask them. I might do that. They are not afraid to tell me their opinions, so they would probably tell me the truth.

The truth is, if I'd just buy them an iPhone and get rid of the curfew they'll agree everything is just perfect.

This week.

1 comment:

  1. Seems to be the prevailing theory, yet you haven't given in to it...good Mommy.